Awkward Valentine's Day Cards

So it's still early for Valentines posts but even if it's the dog days of summer, I can appreciate awkward Valentine's cards. Of course, I may be perpetually single when this day comes around and I do the obligatory mourning but I usually don't enable my self pity. Instead, this year I'm going to take the chance to have as much fun with the Valentine's traditions as possible. And by fun I mean turning the tables and being my usual sarcastic, sorta awkward self. I'll take my inspiration from these following gems:

Now with 1 cup of pudding mix!

LOVE

And my favorite set of Valentine's cards, Ben Kling's historical ones

And my favorite:

Now all I have to do is to go to the Student Computing Center, print them out in color, cut them out, and tape them haphazardly onto my friends' doors when the day comes around.